Art by Scott Beale / Laughing Squid

Since starting this blog last year, I’ve written about my job twice. There’s a reason for that, and it’s probably not what you think.

I’m not holding back here because I feel like I should save my material for paid work. Well, that’s not the biggest reason…

Earth Day was last week and I didn’t do a damn thing on here for it.  I owe you an explanation.  The chief reason I haven’t posted on energy topics is because my profession consumes me everywhere but here.

I had hoped this blogging experiment could remind me of who I am beyond this belle who manages big budget energy projects.  I don’t want to be one-dimensional, so I write about everything but my job.  Probably not the most predictable direction for my Renewabelle handle, but I had no idea things would turn out this way when I started my company three years ago…

This is the real face of green.

I work from home.  Many people think that means I lead a relaxing and flexible life of sustainable luxury.  Many people would be wrong.

The truth is that I work more than most people I know.  Even on the playground with my kid, I’m thinking about work.  I don’t concern myself with a work-life balance because everything requires such fluidity that I hardly have a moment to plan rigid time blocking.

Over the last six years, I’ve watched the Illinois market for energy efficient technologies and sustainable building practices transform before my eyes.  The program we run is better than a typical rebate program because we help business owners and public entities make educated investment decisions.  In a rebate scenario, they do one thing.  In a design assistance program, our experience has shown clients implement a lot more than one simple measure.

When our program began, we were begging businesses to let us audit their facilities for free.  The general opinion was that energy-related investments were reserved for treehuggers or spendthrifts.  Today, we can hardly keep up with the incoming flow of applications for assistance.

Things are very different now than they were a few years ago.  For example, people now understand that increases in energy efficiency have many benefits, both economic and intrinsic.  Sweetening the deal, incentives and grants are available to offset the increased costs associated with efficient technologies.

The only problem is that the bottom fell out from under the country right around the same time legislation was passed to require significant results from related programs.  Everyone wants to do it, but either they don’t have the money, the time or they’re too scared to spend anything right now.

It’s an uphill battle, but the team I work with is amazing and we work our backsides off to keep our program successful.  With this work comes a lot of stress, which affects pretty much everything I do since, like I said before, my work consumes me.

This is the real face of Jess.

Sometimes all I can muster is a tweet.  After reviewing a report or having a long, detailed call that requires 110% of my attention, I don’t have much left in me for commentary.

I have to fight the urge to isolate. After leaving Florida, I was socially sequestered on and off for nearly four years.  I don’t want to go back.  Tweets are progress.  Or maybe regress… Either way, I digress…

I’m well aware that hundreds of bloggers write about swapping a light bulb or inspecting a building envelope (walls, windows, roof, etc) and I don’t feel I need to add to that.  I want to bring something different to the table, but everything I want to tell you either involves something I’m contractually not allowed to discuss or something I’ve made myself believe is banal.

People ask me from time to time what I sell, and the only simple answer I can provide is “sound solutions.”  I’ve thought a lot about it and think that’s why I keep writing all these bizarre life lessons.  I want to help you (whoever “you” are), so I’m throwing everything at you in my arsenal while reserving my area of professional expertise for my day job.  The problem is that you’re probably here for something I’m not giving you.

A normal businesswoman would look at this and say, “Jessica, I believe you may be onto something.” Unfortunately, this particular businesswoman has become a commitment-phobe and likes to come up with awesome ideas that she convinces herself aren’t worth the sacrifice of time necessary for success.

That said, I’m not going to promise you I’m going to write a report or book or some other saleable item that I hope will justify my efforts on here anymore. The next time you hear me talk about that type of thing, it’ll be because it’s done and I’m ready to take your money.

I built this blog because I thought it was the next right step in my journey.  I don’t know what I’m going to be doing next year, but I do know that today I have this thing that I’m supposed to write for and find myself failing.  I will do my best to change that.

All I have to do now is figure out how to use my own voice again and all will be well.  Right?

When you’re looking down the barrel of a mic (or a pen) and a reporter is on the other end, you’d better be ready.  I’m not going to mince my words at all when I tell you it is exceptionally easy to blow an interview.

Since starting my work in the energy efficiency industry, I’ve been interviewed for pieces in industry newsletters, the Wall Street Journal and everything in between.  My ability to provide succinct sound bites and quick quotes is not a natural talent, but  one I honed through a number of embarrassing, easily preventable events that you never need to endure.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and, while I have many maxims regarding the subject, the story behind my First Maxim of Media Relations is really too good to keep to myself…

My “John Mayer” Incident

In 2002, I was interviewed by the ever-lovely Xtine for her magazine, In Theory. Neither of us had actually done an interview before, and what happened was nothing less than punk f***ing rock. (click here to download the PDF)

At the time, I was working in the editorial department at Orlando Weekly as the calendar girl, spending the remainder of my extracurricular hours as a DJ and live show producer for my college radio station.  Never a wallflower, I was not one to maintain a “professional” demeanor either at work or play…which is probably why I was immediately forced to learn my First Maxim of Media Relations:

No matter how much fun you’re having, don’t forget you’re giving an interview.

This WILL go down on your permanent record.  You don’t have to be stuffy, but I strongly suggest you stay away from responses like “don’t take it in the ass” unless you are absolutely certain you won’t mind that showing up in print.  Also…

Do not make jokes about fellatio when discussing how you landed your current job. Even if your bosses are a gay man and a woman.

The day after it came out, the head editors called me into their office to discuss the article and I was unofficially reprimanded.  Thank goodness I worked at a newsweekly with a sense of humor and wasn’t fired for this.  I could have been, but really, it never occurred to me that she would print that.

I forgot I was being interviewed and said something that could not translate without inflection or facial expressions. Bad, bad move…

Having since been an interviewer as well as the interviewee, I must warn you that many writers are (*gasp!*) personable individuals.  They engage for a living, so it should come as no surprise when it happens while they’re asking questions.  No matter what, you must always remember your conversation is part of the interview and respond accordingly.

(note: I do realize that I’m letting you all read something you’d never, ever have known existed, but figured mere reference simply wouldn’t transfer my message quite as clearly.)

Xtine and I were later crowned Princesses of Punk at the Orlando Punk Awards, so it wasn’t even close to a loss.  In fact, as my first interview ever, I’d say it was one of the coolest things I did during that era.  I can assure you I haven’t done anything like it since…

Except for the part about Tony Danza.  I still sing the wrong words to that song because it’s funny. And because I really do want him to hold me closer… Really… who doesn’t?!

Once upon a time, I had a dream to build a particular type of business and it totally blew up in my face.  I have a mentor to thank for that.  And yes, I really mean it.  I thank him all the time…

While countless individuals have inspired me, guided me and/or screwed me over (still learning experiences), my list of professional mentors is quite short.  In fact, only two come to mind.

The first is someone who has asked that he not be named on my blog. Ever. I suppose working with me for seven years has taught him enough to know a safe distance is probably best when I’m given free reign to write whatever I want. I will say, though, that this man has yet to let me down, and that he has been more generous and patient than should ever be expected from anyone who isn’t my husband. If it weren’t for him, I have no idea where I would be today.

The second person is someone I’ve only been working with for five months.  Unlike the first mentor, I pay this one.  I don’t remember how I first found Johnny B. Truant, but I remember thinking that a Mitch Hedberg fan who uses that much profanity on his professional site couldn’t be all that bad.  I quietly subscribed and read his banter for a few months before I ever communicated with him.

It was around the time that Brian Clark’s Teaching Sells program was about to reopen and I was fishing through the free content when I finally dropped JT a note.  I had gotten over the mental hurdle of PAYING for someone to help me with my regular freak-out sessions (I’d never paid for anything like that before) and decided to ask Johnny how he chose his coach.

His response was something along the lines of, “I tried Tim and liked him, but it was a trial and error sort of thing.” Then he wrote (and this is a direct quote), “Come to think of it, I really need to retool my coaching page. It looks like I only do tech help, but that’s not what people are asking me about. Hmm…”

Any normal person would have been put off by his total lack of professionalism, his inability to properly market himself as a coach (I honestly wasn’t even thinking about using him to begin with), his self-deprecating comments regarding his limitations… Of course, I’m not normal.

After acquiring his Zero To Business course and talking a lot more via email, I asked him to find an hour I could buy so he could help me figure out what in the hell I was trying to do.

The first few minutes of that October call were awkward, but it quickly became clear to me that Johnny was exactly what I needed.  I had no idea my business plans needed a therapist, but in that hour he was able to help me inventory what I was trying to accomplish and find some ways to get closer to achieving it.

Fast forward a few more sessions and we’ll find I actually didn’t want what I was trying to achieve.  Does that mean I wasted my money on guidance that didn’t apply to me anymore?  My answer is a resounding HELL NAW.  He saved me.

Working with Johnny actually got me in better touch with who I am and what I want.  I was about to travel down a typical entrepreneur’s path – I found a need and was going to fill it – only that path wasn’t right for me.  It took me six sessions and a lot of crap to truly understand what he’d been telling me all along… I was doing it wrong.

The truth is that none of us came with a manual.  We don’t know what’s going to happen next week, let alone six months from now.  Johnny built an awesome business in under a year that works for him.  I’m still picking up the pieces of my shattered plans, but that doesn’t mean he’s a poor mentor.  I’d argue it’s just the opposite.

Johnny recently wrote about scars and his adoration for Fight Club, but in typical Truant fashion, he was actually writing about something else.  It was one of the best posts I’ve ever read, and not only because it proves my point.

Anything worth having is worth fighting for, and every business I’ve ever admired has had failures in its history.  We fall, we get up, we get our asses back into the game better and wiser players for it.

Yes, I had a plan that fell apart and now I’m just doing whatever I think is the next right thing with minimal concern for developing a new plan.  I’m more confident, self-aware and content than I’ve been in years.  Best of all, I have a faith in business that works for me, which is something I’ve been missing for a while.

I recognize that choosing a mentor is a strange process, but hiring Johnny was really one of the best things I did in 2009.  I needed help, I asked for it and I got it.  Hopefully I’ve done cool things for him, too.  All I know for certain is that I would have never found the confidence to launch this blog if it weren’t for him, so if this post has gone too long, you can thank him for it.  I know I will.

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This post has been inspired by Holly Hoffman (@HollyHoffman on Twitter) of Neovia Solutions.  Holly put out a call to all bloggers about their mentor experiences and we invite you to share your own.  Thank you for reading.