How to keep your a** in your pants when talking with the media…

When you’re looking down the barrel of a mic (or a pen) and a reporter is on the other end, you’d better be ready.  I’m not going to mince my words at all when I tell you it is exceptionally easy to blow an interview.

Since starting my work in the energy efficiency industry, I’ve been interviewed for pieces in industry newsletters, the Wall Street Journal and everything in between.  My ability to provide succinct sound bites and quick quotes is not a natural talent, but  one I honed through a number of embarrassing, easily preventable events that you never need to endure.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and, while I have many maxims regarding the subject, the story behind my First Maxim of Media Relations is really too good to keep to myself…

The Incident.

In 2002, I was interviewed by the ever-lovely Xtine for her magazine, In Theory. Neither of us had actually done an interview before, and what happened was nothing less than punk f***ing rock. (click here to download the PDF)

At the time, I was working in the editorial department at Orlando Weekly as the calendar girl, spending the remainder of my extracurricular hours as a DJ and live show producer for my college radio station.  Never a wallflower, I was not one to maintain a “professional” demeanor either at work or play…which is probably why I was immediately forced to learn my First Maxim of Media Relations:

No matter how much fun you’re having, don’t forget you’re giving an interview.

This WILL go down on your permanent record.  You don’t have to be stuffy, but I strongly suggest you stay away from responses like “don’t take it in the ass” unless you are absolutely certain you won’t mind that showing up in print.  Also…

Do not make jokes about fellatio when discussing how you landed your current job. Even if your bosses are a gay man and a woman.

The day after it came out, the head editors called me into their office to discuss the article and I was unofficially reprimanded.  Thank goodness I worked at a newsweekly with a sense of humor and wasn’t fired for this.  I could have been, but really, it never occurred to me that she would print that.

I forgot I was being interviewed and said something that could not translate without inflection or facial expressions. Bad, bad move…

Having since been an interviewer as well as the interviewee, I must warn you that many writers are (*gasp!*) personable individuals.  They engage for a living, so it should come as no surprise when it happens while they’re asking questions.  No matter what, you must always remember your conversation is part of the interview and respond accordingly.

(note: I do realize that I’m letting you all read something you’d never, ever have known existed, but figured mere reference simply wouldn’t transfer my message quite as clearly.)

Xtine and I were later crowned Princesses of Punk at the Orlando Punk Awards, so it wasn’t even close to a loss.  In fact, as my first interview ever, I’d say it was one of the coolest things I did during that era.  I can assure you I haven’t done anything like it since…

Except for the part about Tony Danza.  I still sing the wrong words to that song because it’s funny. And because I really do want him to hold me closer… Really… who doesn’t?!

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Bravery… or something like it…

I write this post with a heavy heart.  There is so much sadness in the world right now with tragedies multiplying by the day.  Of course, my topic has nothing to do with those catastrophes.  Mine has to do with sex.

For months now, I’ve been working on a covert project that consumed countless hours of my “spare” time.  Although I’m quite successful in my current career, I had hoped to augment my income through a new product that would help people enrich their sex lives.

After an exhaustive amount of research and market testing, I knew this was poised to be a huge success.  However, instead of approaching this with excitement, I found myself merely going through the motions of building this product, continually plagued with internal resistance.

Like many entrepreneurs would, I passed it off as fear. I continued pressing on, only to find myself dreading new discoveries and mentally shutting down when the content got too deep for my tastes.  It took weeks before I allowed myself an opportunity to take a real inventory as to what was going on.

After finally running through all the reasons I wanted to do this versus the reasons I didn’t, I realized I was building toward a dead-end.  But why? How?

I ignored something so simple, so necessary, so critical to the success of any entrepreneur’s journey…

I forgot to ask myself if I would do it for free.

What I realized is that I was so focused on building what I thought would be a successful source of income that I neglected to ask whether this was a niche I would want to produce, promote or protect. Instead of building a freedom business, I was designing an emotional death sentence.  And no, I’m not insane. In fact, I bet this could happen to anyone…

This business I was building was solely for profit.  I actually convinced myself that I was passionate about something I had no real connection to because I was blinded by my goals of getting out of debt. My drive to succeed in this venture had little to do with the mission and everything to do with the dollar.  For many, the dollar is enough.  For me, I need a reason or I will be miserable.

My niche and I officially called it quits this week and my heart is broken.  It feels like I just ended a relationship that wasn’t bad, but it just wasn’t right.  You know… the kind where kisses are just lips touching and when you look at the other person, all you feel is a sense of longing to feel something other than what you do.  Only now that it’s over, I’m left to figure out how to move on…

Having survived a fair amount of disagreeable events in my life, you might think it’d be easy to pick myself up again after failing a business venture I never even launched.  It sounds so stupid to even say.  But it was real to me, and knowing all the time and effort I put into dotting every “i” and crossing every “t” makes it hurt that much more.  I want to tell myself I made a huge mistake, but the smarter me (yes, on occasion there is more than one “me” in my head) knows that’s not the truth.

I believe this couldn’t have been a mistake.  My coach has been enlightening me with his views on faith in business and according to the Gospel of Truant, things happen for a reason.

So now, as it seems, I need to put away the cosmic chocolate ice cream, turn off the damn Meg Ryan movie and learn the lesson I obviously needed to learn…

Then, with a little bravery or something like it, you may soon see what I’ve found I would do for free… And hopefully you’ll buy some for everyone you know…