How to keep your a** in your pants when talking with the media…

When you’re looking down the barrel of a mic (or a pen) and a reporter is on the other end, you’d better be ready.  I’m not going to mince my words at all when I tell you it is exceptionally easy to blow an interview.

Since starting my work in the energy efficiency industry, I’ve been interviewed for pieces in industry newsletters, the Wall Street Journal and everything in between.  My ability to provide succinct sound bites and quick quotes is not a natural talent, but  one I honed through a number of embarrassing, easily preventable events that you never need to endure.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and, while I have many maxims regarding the subject, the story behind my First Maxim of Media Relations is really too good to keep to myself…

The Incident.

In 2002, I was interviewed by the ever-lovely Xtine for her magazine, In Theory. Neither of us had actually done an interview before, and what happened was nothing less than punk f***ing rock. (click here to download the PDF)

At the time, I was working in the editorial department at Orlando Weekly as the calendar girl, spending the remainder of my extracurricular hours as a DJ and live show producer for my college radio station.  Never a wallflower, I was not one to maintain a “professional” demeanor either at work or play…which is probably why I was immediately forced to learn my First Maxim of Media Relations:

No matter how much fun you’re having, don’t forget you’re giving an interview.

This WILL go down on your permanent record.  You don’t have to be stuffy, but I strongly suggest you stay away from responses like “don’t take it in the ass” unless you are absolutely certain you won’t mind that showing up in print.  Also…

Do not make jokes about fellatio when discussing how you landed your current job. Even if your bosses are a gay man and a woman.

The day after it came out, the head editors called me into their office to discuss the article and I was unofficially reprimanded.  Thank goodness I worked at a newsweekly with a sense of humor and wasn’t fired for this.  I could have been, but really, it never occurred to me that she would print that.

I forgot I was being interviewed and said something that could not translate without inflection or facial expressions. Bad, bad move…

Having since been an interviewer as well as the interviewee, I must warn you that many writers are (*gasp!*) personable individuals.  They engage for a living, so it should come as no surprise when it happens while they’re asking questions.  No matter what, you must always remember your conversation is part of the interview and respond accordingly.

(note: I do realize that I’m letting you all read something you’d never, ever have known existed, but figured mere reference simply wouldn’t transfer my message quite as clearly.)

Xtine and I were later crowned Princesses of Punk at the Orlando Punk Awards, so it wasn’t even close to a loss.  In fact, as my first interview ever, I’d say it was one of the coolest things I did during that era.  I can assure you I haven’t done anything like it since…

Except for the part about Tony Danza.  I still sing the wrong words to that song because it’s funny. And because I really do want him to hold me closer… Really… who doesn’t?!

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Filed Under: Outreach & Promotion Tagged With: , , , ,

Five simple steps to a spectacular failure…

Yesterday was a day that shall live in infamy.

To call what happened a failure of epic proportions would be an understatement.  Fortunately for you, sweet reader, I swiftly cataloged the sequence of events that led up to my Passover paroxysm in case you were interested in creating your own minor meltdown.

Question nothing as you follow these steps and you too will soon enjoy a spectacular failure, the kind where an hour feels like an entire evening and you know it will be one you’ll never forget…

Step 1. Do not plan ahead: Look for essential resources (such as a Seder plate) the day before you need it. There is no need to interrupt your moments prior when you’re “pretty sure it’s somewhere.” Chances are likely it will magically appear alongside the magical coffee that brews itself and the dishes that clean themselves overnight.

 

Step 2. Source via big box: Do not attempt to locate unusual replacement items from a website that specializes in such matters, especially when you live within a few miles from a Party City. Do visit said big box, ask for assistance, and experience the awkwardness that can only come from requesting a Seder plate and getting handed paper plates with pastel crucifixes on them as an appropriate equivalent.

 

Step 3. Mince your words (especially in the meat section): Upon entering your chosen supermarket, locate the nearest meat expert (someone wearing a white jacket) and inquire about particular cuts specified in your recipe.  Do not question his wisdom.  Ideally, a child with a penchant for poking his finger into the plastic wrap covering ground beef and steaks should accompany you.  Ignore italicized words on plastic packaging, as they are often unnecessary descriptors that do not apply to your chosen outcome.

 

Step 4. Relax: Even if you’ve never prepared a brisket in your life, this isn’t something you really need to worry about.  You printed out the recipe and got what it said to get… deal with the prep when the time comes.  If you find your recipe requires more time than you left for yourself, frantically search the internet for ways to cook meat faster than advised.

 

Step 5. Forget to laugh: Quite frankly, there is absolutely nothing funny about mistaking corned beef brisket for beef brisket, forgetting to start the cooking process on time, messing up cuts so that the non-brisket ends up in rubbery rectangles, or eating the crushed-tomato covered carrots that were supposed to soften somehow in the non-brisket juice.  May your eyes burn holes through anyone who dares to make a mustard and rye joke in lieu of spearheading activities that could involve unleavened bread.

Given some practice and possibly a beer, I’m certain you too could enjoy your 15 minutes at the butt of your spouse’s every joke while creating a memory that will last a lifetime.  If you have any tips you’d like to contribute, I sure would love to hear them…

Filed Under: Smart Strategies Tagged With: , ,

Of Mentors and Countrypeople…

Once upon a time, I had a dream to build a particular type of business and it totally blew up in my face.  I have a mentor to thank for that.  And yes, I really mean it.  I thank him all the time…

While countless individuals have inspired me, guided me and/or screwed me over (still learning experiences), my list of professional mentors is quite short.  In fact, only two come to mind.

The first is someone who has asked that he not be named on my blog. Ever. I suppose working with me for seven years has taught him enough to know a safe distance is probably best when I’m given free reign to write whatever I want. I will say, though, that this man has yet to let me down, and that he has been more generous and patient than should ever be expected from anyone who isn’t my husband. If it weren’t for him, I have no idea where I would be today.

The second person is someone I’ve only been working with for five months.  Unlike the first mentor, I pay this one.  I don’t remember how I first found Johnny B. Truant, but I remember thinking that a Mitch Hedberg fan who uses that much profanity on his professional site couldn’t be all that bad.  I quietly subscribed and read his banter for a few months before I ever communicated with him.

It was around the time that Brian Clark’s Teaching Sells program was about to reopen and I was fishing through the free content when I finally dropped JT a note.  I had gotten over the mental hurdle of PAYING for someone to help me with my regular freak-out sessions (I’d never paid for anything like that before) and decided to ask Johnny how he chose his coach.

His response was something along the lines of, “I tried Tim and liked him, but it was a trial and error sort of thing.” Then he wrote (and this is a direct quote), “Come to think of it, I really need to retool my coaching page. It looks like I only do tech help, but that’s not what people are asking me about. Hmm…”

Any normal person would have been put off by his total lack of professionalism, his inability to properly market himself as a coach (I honestly wasn’t even thinking about using him to begin with), his self-deprecating comments regarding his limitations… Of course, I’m not normal.

After acquiring his Zero To Business course and talking a lot more via email, I asked him to find an hour I could buy so he could help me figure out what in the hell I was trying to do.

The first few minutes of that October call were awkward, but it quickly became clear to me that Johnny was exactly what I needed.  I had no idea my business plans needed a therapist, but in that hour he was able to help me inventory what I was trying to accomplish and find some ways to get closer to achieving it.

Fast forward a few more sessions and we’ll find I actually didn’t want what I was trying to achieve.  Does that mean I wasted my money on guidance that didn’t apply to me anymore?  My answer is a resounding HELL NAW.  He saved me.

Working with Johnny actually got me in better touch with who I am and what I want.  I was about to travel down a typical entrepreneur’s path – I found a need and was going to fill it – only that path wasn’t right for me.  It took me six sessions and a lot of crap to truly understand what he’d been telling me all along… I was doing it wrong.

The truth is that none of us came with a manual.  We don’t know what’s going to happen next week, let alone six months from now.  Johnny built an awesome business in under a year that works for him.  I’m still picking up the pieces of my shattered plans, but that doesn’t mean he’s a poor mentor.  I’d argue it’s just the opposite.

Johnny recently wrote about scars and his adoration for Fight Club, but in typical Truant fashion, he was actually writing about something else.  It was one of the best posts I’ve ever read, and not only because it proves my point.

Anything worth having is worth fighting for, and every business I’ve ever admired has had failures in its history.  We fall, we get up, we get our asses back into the game better and wiser players for it.

Yes, I had a plan that fell apart and now I’m just doing whatever I think is the next right thing with minimal concern for developing a new plan.  I’m more confident, self-aware and content than I’ve been in years.  Best of all, I have a faith in business that works for me, which is something I’ve been missing for a while.

I recognize that choosing a mentor is a strange process, but hiring Johnny was really one of the best things I did in 2009.  I needed help, I asked for it and I got it.  Hopefully I’ve done cool things for him, too.  All I know for certain is that I would have never found the confidence to launch this blog if it weren’t for him, so if this post has gone too long, you can thank him for it.  I know I will.

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This post has been inspired by Holly Hoffman (@HollyHoffman on Twitter) of Neovia Solutions.  Holly put out a call to all bloggers about their mentor experiences and we invite you to share your own.  Thank you for reading.

Filed Under: General musings Tagged With: , , , ,

Bravery… or something like it…

I write this post with a heavy heart.  There is so much sadness in the world right now with tragedies multiplying by the day.  Of course, my topic has nothing to do with those catastrophes.  Mine has to do with sex.

For months now, I’ve been working on a covert project that consumed countless hours of my “spare” time.  Although I’m quite successful in my current career, I had hoped to augment my income through a new product that would help people enrich their sex lives.

After an exhaustive amount of research and market testing, I knew this was poised to be a huge success.  However, instead of approaching this with excitement, I found myself merely going through the motions of building this product, continually plagued with internal resistance.

Like many entrepreneurs would, I passed it off as fear. I continued pressing on, only to find myself dreading new discoveries and mentally shutting down when the content got too deep for my tastes.  It took weeks before I allowed myself an opportunity to take a real inventory as to what was going on.

After finally running through all the reasons I wanted to do this versus the reasons I didn’t, I realized I was building toward a dead-end.  But why? How?

I ignored something so simple, so necessary, so critical to the success of any entrepreneur’s journey…

I forgot to ask myself if I would do it for free.

What I realized is that I was so focused on building what I thought would be a successful source of income that I neglected to ask whether this was a niche I would want to produce, promote or protect. Instead of building a freedom business, I was designing an emotional death sentence.  And no, I’m not insane. In fact, I bet this could happen to anyone…

This business I was building was solely for profit.  I actually convinced myself that I was passionate about something I had no real connection to because I was blinded by my goals of getting out of debt. My drive to succeed in this venture had little to do with the mission and everything to do with the dollar.  For many, the dollar is enough.  For me, I need a reason or I will be miserable.

My niche and I officially called it quits this week and my heart is broken.  It feels like I just ended a relationship that wasn’t bad, but it just wasn’t right.  You know… the kind where kisses are just lips touching and when you look at the other person, all you feel is a sense of longing to feel something other than what you do.  Only now that it’s over, I’m left to figure out how to move on…

Having survived a fair amount of disagreeable events in my life, you might think it’d be easy to pick myself up again after failing a business venture I never even launched.  It sounds so stupid to even say.  But it was real to me, and knowing all the time and effort I put into dotting every “i” and crossing every “t” makes it hurt that much more.  I want to tell myself I made a huge mistake, but the smarter me (yes, on occasion there is more than one “me” in my head) knows that’s not the truth.

I believe this couldn’t have been a mistake.  My coach has been enlightening me with his views on faith in business and according to the Gospel of Truant, things happen for a reason.

So now, as it seems, I need to put away the cosmic chocolate ice cream, turn off the damn Meg Ryan movie and learn the lesson I obviously needed to learn…

Then, with a little bravery or something like it, you may soon see what I’ve found I would do for free… And hopefully you’ll buy some for everyone you know…

Filed Under: General musings Tagged With: , , , ,