Four and three and two and one (What up!)

When Mike D, MCA and Ad-Rock first organized as the Beastie Boys, they were among the hardest of the hardcore in 1979. Rather than abandon their sound for their love of rap music, they made music history by changing the scene instead of themselves.  As it turned out, they could do both. At the same time.

If only it were that easy for the rest of us…

The saving grace is that we’re not alone in this.  A month ago…

• I hadn’t read The War of Art by Steven Pressfield.
• I hadn’t heard any of the Question The Rules modules from Johnny B. Truant & Lee Stranahan.
• I hadn’t received optimystical clarity from Mynde Mayfield.
• I hadn’t asked a few particular people for guidance, or heard the rather confounding feedback I eventually received.
• I hadn’t gone to the NC CEO Forum or heard the amazing speakers discuss how they achieved a triple bottom line in their businesses.
• I hadn’t seen that (I can not believe I’m about to say this) Glee episode with Neil Patrick Harris about dreams.
• I hadn’t gotten my new tattoo, a cover-up for another tattoo that represented a period in my life I finally became ready to leave behind.

And really, it was the last one that came with a bullet because it was an intentional change made to represent this moment…this time in my life where I’m standing at the crossroads, looking forward at what my life could be, knowing the only thing these paths share is a change from what my life currently includes. I now have a permanent reminder of who I am today and I couldn’t be happier.

The tattoo sealed the deal, but it was a combination of all these things together that created a rather perfect existential storm.

Kickin’ the clarity…

I’ve seen how other people before me have worked through trying times when it feels like nothing is certain and everything is up for grabs. And I’ve seen how they rocked it into six-figure businesses that fulfill them.

I understand Resistance and refuse to accept it as my driver.

Most importantly, I’ve questioned everything I thought was solid (spoiler alert: there really is no spoon) and have come to realize I don’t have to change who I am in order to change what I do.

True, there are tons of people writing about sustainability. Are any of them business-focused pervs who are incapable of providing a value proposition without giggling at the word proposition?

There are a lot of people who discuss grieving and the importance of reconciling your past in order to be fully present for the now.  Are any of them twisted enough to tell you it’s okay to feel anger while cracking on the reaper with jokes that would make your mama blush?

Even if the answer is yes, I’ve realized I actually do have things to offer that won’t compromise my current line of work or my integrity.  I don’t need to take on an assumed name (yet) and I don’t need to write to you in a fashion that reads like comment bait.  While I certainly hope you comment, that’s not my goal here.

Short time frame, big difference…

If I learned anything from the last 30 days, it’s that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be right now. More, I’m exactly who I’m supposed to be.

I’ve been so focused on change that I forgot it’s okay to be the constant. I don’t have to be the one who changes all the time. And neither do you.

As I bless this site with a new header (created by the ever-awesome Marty Whitmore) that more accurately captures what I’m trying to do here, I also bless myself with a little kindness for all the crappy things I’ve been doing to my mind.  It is true that I’m a total freak, but people have built revolutions on this kind of thing… so why not me?

If this resonates with you at all, I’d love to hear your experience and insight.  It’s been so liberating to find I’m not as alone as I thought I was…

I hope you know the same is true for you…

Once upon a time, I had a dream to build a particular type of business and it totally blew up in my face.  I have a mentor to thank for that.  And yes, I really mean it.  I thank him all the time…

While countless individuals have inspired me, guided me and/or screwed me over (still learning experiences), my list of professional mentors is quite short.  In fact, only two come to mind.

The first is someone who has asked that he not be named on my blog. Ever. I suppose working with me for seven years has taught him enough to know a safe distance is probably best when I’m given free reign to write whatever I want. I will say, though, that this man has yet to let me down, and that he has been more generous and patient than should ever be expected from anyone who isn’t my husband. If it weren’t for him, I have no idea where I would be today.

The second person is someone I’ve only been working with for five months.  Unlike the first mentor, I pay this one.  I don’t remember how I first found Johnny B. Truant, but I remember thinking that a Mitch Hedberg fan who uses that much profanity on his professional site couldn’t be all that bad.  I quietly subscribed and read his banter for a few months before I ever communicated with him.

It was around the time that Brian Clark’s Teaching Sells program was about to reopen and I was fishing through the free content when I finally dropped JT a note.  I had gotten over the mental hurdle of PAYING for someone to help me with my regular freak-out sessions (I’d never paid for anything like that before) and decided to ask Johnny how he chose his coach.

His response was something along the lines of, “I tried Tim and liked him, but it was a trial and error sort of thing.” Then he wrote (and this is a direct quote), “Come to think of it, I really need to retool my coaching page. It looks like I only do tech help, but that’s not what people are asking me about. Hmm…”

Any normal person would have been put off by his total lack of professionalism, his inability to properly market himself as a coach (I honestly wasn’t even thinking about using him to begin with), his self-deprecating comments regarding his limitations… Of course, I’m not normal.

After acquiring his Zero To Business course and talking a lot more via email, I asked him to find an hour I could buy so he could help me figure out what in the hell I was trying to do.

The first few minutes of that October call were awkward, but it quickly became clear to me that Johnny was exactly what I needed.  I had no idea my business plans needed a therapist, but in that hour he was able to help me inventory what I was trying to accomplish and find some ways to get closer to achieving it.

Fast forward a few more sessions and we’ll find I actually didn’t want what I was trying to achieve.  Does that mean I wasted my money on guidance that didn’t apply to me anymore?  My answer is a resounding HELL NAW.  He saved me.

Working with Johnny actually got me in better touch with who I am and what I want.  I was about to travel down a typical entrepreneur’s path – I found a need and was going to fill it – only that path wasn’t right for me.  It took me six sessions and a lot of crap to truly understand what he’d been telling me all along… I was doing it wrong.

The truth is that none of us came with a manual.  We don’t know what’s going to happen next week, let alone six months from now.  Johnny built an awesome business in under a year that works for him.  I’m still picking up the pieces of my shattered plans, but that doesn’t mean he’s a poor mentor.  I’d argue it’s just the opposite.

Johnny recently wrote about scars and his adoration for Fight Club, but in typical Truant fashion, he was actually writing about something else.  It was one of the best posts I’ve ever read, and not only because it proves my point.

Anything worth having is worth fighting for, and every business I’ve ever admired has had failures in its history.  We fall, we get up, we get our asses back into the game better and wiser players for it.

Yes, I had a plan that fell apart and now I’m just doing whatever I think is the next right thing with minimal concern for developing a new plan.  I’m more confident, self-aware and content than I’ve been in years.  Best of all, I have a faith in business that works for me, which is something I’ve been missing for a while.

I recognize that choosing a mentor is a strange process, but hiring Johnny was really one of the best things I did in 2009.  I needed help, I asked for it and I got it.  Hopefully I’ve done cool things for him, too.  All I know for certain is that I would have never found the confidence to launch this blog if it weren’t for him, so if this post has gone too long, you can thank him for it.  I know I will.

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This post has been inspired by Holly Hoffman (@HollyHoffman on Twitter) of Neovia Solutions.  Holly put out a call to all bloggers about their mentor experiences and we invite you to share your own.  Thank you for reading.